Why Your Family Shouldn’t Be Vendors At Your Wedding

This week I’m going to make a bold statement. I’m going to say something that most people don’t outright tell you. Ready? Your family should not be involved in the wedding.

There I said it.


“But Monica, I love my family! My aunt makes wonderful cakes, she’s done it for years! My mom’s co-worker loves to do floral arrangements, and she said it was our gift! My best friend volunteered to be my mistress of ceremonies and she’s so organized!”


Trust me, Sarah and I have heard it all; so let me tell you WHY I don’t think they should be involved.


When you look back on your wedding, what do you want to remember? The first look with your hubby? The ring bearer laughing the whole way down the aisle? How delicious the cake was after waiting to eat all day? The Father Daughter dance and how you and your dad broke out into synchronized Mick Jagger moves? The final goodbye to your sister before you and your new spouse ride away into the sunset?


I could go on forever about all the great things to remember, but let me tell you about things you don’t want to remember.


Do you want to remember the family friend/DJ making private jokes about your dad seconds before the garter toss? What about the call you got two days before the wedding from your aunt saying she needed to use “filler flowers” because she ran out of your specified lilies? The morning of the wedding seeing your mom ready to pull her hair out because she just got the call that the photographer was stuck in traffic?


When family is involved in parts of the wedding that vendors should be in charge of, things naturally get messier. Think about it, there’s a reason people prefer to hire a professional DJ, florist, and day of coordinator. Sure, it may save you a couple bucks to have a friend do it, but I can promise it’s going to be more stressful. The vendors do this professionally. They are no strangers to events and their habits to go haywire. They know how to handle anything that may go not-exactly-right.


Second, it takes a ton of stress off the family. Sure they volunteer 9 months out, but when it gets to be two weeks till the big day, it’s a totally different ballgame. By this point in the engagement period, you’ve asked your sister about how she is going to set up the ceremony decor several times and each time she gives the same answer: “I’m working on it!” Your sister loved the idea of helping you with the decor, but she just took on a huge project at work, her son is working through those “terrible two’s” and she’s working on re-doing the master bathroom at her house.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to help, but she’s got a lot on her plate! It’s easy to make a commitment a year in advance, but when it comes down to the wire, your family is JUST as stressed as you are about your big day. Give them the privilege of enjoying your day with you, and look into a professional to help with the details.

Photography: Faithful Photography

Photography: Faithful Photography

I just want to state, for the record: WE LOVE FAMILY! We’ve seen them be involved in great ways, but bottom line: be very cautious to “hire” them in place of real vendors.

Cheers to stress-free, family-ful, memory-filled planning!


Featured Photo Credit: Devin Hendrick Photography

Join the discussion 3 Comments

  • Kevin says:

    I agree with just about everything you said. The one issue I have is with the dj/mc for the ceremony. If you have a trusted friend who you know will be appropriate and who knows what he’s doing, I think that is one thing that can save a lot of money.
    BUT! And this is a big but, you need someone professional to help coordinate things at the ceremony and the reception. As I have been a dj/mc as a friend at multiple weddings, I know that even though I had a good idea of what I was doing, I would’ve been lost without the “day of” cordinater. As just a one man show, trying to time the enterance of the bridal party, making sure the photographer is ready when you announce the cutting of the cake, or even announcing something like a bouquet toss that the bride actually wanted taken out at the last minute, is extremely difficult without someone who is running the show and can help give you cues.
    The second part to be careful of is sound equipment. You can’t just hire a good friend who knows music and have him use your “big boombox.” You need to have professional equipment, especially for the bridal party speeches and the dancing at the reception. No one will want to get out on that dance floor if the music isn’t completely filling the room, and a boombox simply won’t do that. You can either hire someone who has equipment themselves, have the cordinater rent the right equipment for you (although you may run into the issue that your friend dj doesn’t know how to use it), or have your dancefloor be dead and dissapointing.

    • GrandOccasionsGr says:

      Yes Kevin! We would actually completely agree with you! If you decide to go with a trusted friend, they really should be someone who has the correct equipment, and a trusted reputation.
      Well said, and thank you for the comment!

  • Tracy Park says:

    Nowadays everyone is a florist, planners turned desingers, one thing I can tell by a non seasoned professional everything is the same, they do it over and over again you never see a variety in the work a good pro can switch it up in a heartbeat. ,

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