This week I’m going to make a bold statement. I’m going to say something that most people don’t outright tell you. Ready? Your family should not be involved in the wedding.
There I said it.
“But Monica, I love my family! My aunt makes wonderful cakes, she’s done it for years! My mom’s co-worker loves to do floral arrangements, and she said it was our gift! My best friend volunteered to be my mistress of ceremonies and she’s so organized!”
Trust me, Sarah and I have heard it all; so let me tell you WHY I don’t think they should be involved.
When you look back on your wedding, what do you want to remember? The first look with your hubby? The ring bearer laughing the whole way down the aisle? How delicious the cake was after waiting to eat all day? The Father Daughter dance and how you and your dad broke out into synchronized Mick Jagger moves? The final goodbye to your sister before you and your new spouse ride away into the sunset?
I could go on forever about all the great things to remember, but let me tell you about things you don’t want to remember.
Do you want to remember the family friend/DJ making private jokes about your dad seconds before the garter toss? What about the call you got two days before the wedding from your aunt saying she needed to use “filler flowers” because she ran out of your specified lilies? The morning of the wedding seeing your mom ready to pull her hair out because she just got the call that the photographer was stuck in traffic?
When family is involved in parts of the wedding that vendors should be in charge of, things naturally get messier. Think about it, there’s a reason people prefer to hire a professional DJ, florist, and day of coordinator. Sure, it may save you a couple bucks to have a friend do it, but I can promise it’s going to be more stressful. The vendors do this professionally. They are no strangers to events and their habits to go haywire. They know how to handle anything that may go not-exactly-right.
Second, it takes a ton of stress off the family. Sure they volunteer 9 months out, but when it gets to be two weeks till the big day, it’s a totally different ballgame. By this point in the engagement period, you’ve asked your sister about how she is going to set up the ceremony decor several times and each time she gives the same answer: “I’m working on it!” Your sister loved the idea of helping you with the decor, but she just took on a huge project at work, her son is working through those “terrible two’s” and she’s working on re-doing the master bathroom at her house.
It’s not that she doesn’t want to help, but she’s got a lot on her plate! It’s easy to make a commitment a year in advance, but when it comes down to the wire, your family is JUST as stressed as you are about your big day. Give them the privilege of enjoying your day with you, and look into a professional to help with the details.
I just want to state, for the record: WE LOVE FAMILY! We’ve seen them be involved in great ways, but bottom line: be very cautious to “hire” them in place of real vendors.
Cheers to stress-free, family-ful, memory-filled planning!
Featured Photo Credit: Devin Hendrick Photography